Fear, Gratitute and Obstacles…

To those of the Jewish faith: Chag Pesach!

To those of the Christian faith: Happy holy week.

It’s been an interesting week – the hubby & I have been having a very… dynamic week to say the least. Lots of stuff starting to build on our collective plates and we’ll be spending a lot of time next week figuring out a game plan… frankly the thought of the extra work involves scares me. A lot. But what scares me even more than doing the work, is doing well with it.

“Our deepest fear is that we’re powerful beyond measure.”

I read a lot of different blogs, on SparkPeople and beyond, and there seems to be a very prevalent theme this week. People who are trucking along, kicking butt and taking names like no one’s business are hitting the proverbial brick wall. They all of a sudden are having moments of self-doubt, and questioning their actions, their (lack of) motivation, and wondering why they heck they’re doing all this work in the first place.

It’s a test… it’s only a test.

It’s times like that, when we all stand on the brink of that greatness, about to experience an amazing break through and moment of personal growth that we are tested the most. Our resolve, our faith in ourselves, our plans, even our deepest hopes and dreams are called into question.

Like the iconic angel & devil standing on your shoulder – one saying to choose the carrot for it’s vitamin, fiber and nutrient rich goodness. The other saying take a whole carrot cake and devour it, because you’ve worked hard and deserve to just let go, be happy with what you’ve done and go back to the way things were.

I’ve written about it before – when I find myself on the edge of that greatness, when I can feel it welling up inside of me, threatening to burst forth and take everyone around me with it, it scares the bajeebers out of me. It’s too much. It’s TOO powerful. That sort of greatness is meant for someone else, someone better than me… so I turn my back on it only to feel the pain of that loss.

“You are more of a force than you know.”

I was sharing a light hearted email conversation with a lady that I very much admire, and she made that comment. About _me_. No, I thought… she meant someone else maybe, but not me. I mean, I LOVE helping people, sharing what I know, encouraging them, etc., but when it comes to believing in myself, I always find myself lacking.

Oh wait, this is part of The Test – no, not by my friend, but by the Powers That Be. I have been having doubts of if I’m on the right path, if what I am doing really matters. I was given my answer… now what was I going to do about it? Shy away from the greatness yet again? Or do I allow myself to inch closer to that edge to experience the greatness that this universe has in store for me?

::flicks devil off the shoulder::


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