Flinging remorse

I’ve flung a lot of clutter over the last several years. Looking at my house you wouldn’t quite know it, but I’ve got a lot less STUFF than I had before… I mean, considering I can share the closet with my Honey and there’s actually open space in it is a big improvement to a closet I had at one of my apartments that was bigger than ours now and was packed to overflowing. For the most part I can’t remember any of the items I flung and haven’t missed them… but every so often, I think “Crap! I got rid of ____, didn’t I?!?” This weekend was one of those times. I was looking through my embroidery magazine and saw a great project for a sweatshirt turned cardigan… knowing that my one sweater I wear at work is on it’s last legs, and the other doesn’t fit well, I immediately went to my closet because I have a couple plain ones and… oh crap. I got rid of them. *sigh* I have admit it took everything I could muster to not go out and buy a new one… I forced myself to sit on the idea for a bit, realized that right *now* I wouldn’t have time to do it as I had other more pressing things/projects to do, and agreed to put it on my project list and re-visit it later on. So I had the full range of guilt/remorse: guilt for getting rid of something that I (or probably my mom) spent good money on… guilt for not having worn it… remorse for all the other STUFF I still have in the house that’s going unused, remorse for not having/taking the time to do the projects that I need/want to do. Then the guilt for feeling guilty about the whole thing. Oy… I’d swear I was raised Jewish or Catholic by all the guilt I impose on myself.

Then I was listening to the FlyLady show from a couple weeks ago and a lady emailed about how she had a weekend with no kids and wanted to know where to start with cleaning/decluttering so she could get the house clean before the kids got back. Did my heart good to hear FlyLady respond that she should just do maybe an hour or two of 15 minute sessions then be done for the day… It’s that overwhelming drive of a SHE to do it all now, but oh crud I can’t so I’m not gonna do anything. I do that a lot anyway, and I had the same idea that the lady did for next week. I’m taking Monday & Tuesday off to recoup from the trip and also to attack the house some more. It’s all about changing my attitude and doing what I can for now, and getting back into my routines… again… for the 50th time. :/

But the upside is that I managed to fling more things from my closet – got rid of a few pairs of shoes that were dead, some shirts that were the same, and a few other articles that I just didn’t wear and was releasing on faith that I wouldn’t need them, and that I will be able to replace them when I need to.

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